The Feast of St. Gertrude

Easter Dinner?

Fat Cat in Danger?

St. Gertrude of Nivelles, Abbess, is the Patron Saint of Cats. Today is her day. Personally, I must say I am outraged that St. Gertrude would be invoked to support a controversial idea that is being discussed in various right-wing circles across America today.

I’m not thinking of the so-called conservative commentators who have been speaking out against pet ownership. They say common people shouldn’t be allowed to keep pets, because they can’t afford to take care of their kids. Plus, according to them, having pets tends to distract people from their work, which should be their principal concern even when they are not at the workplace.

I’m also not thinking about others, from more progressive circles, who contend that people shouldn’t own pets bigger than hamsters because cats and dogs have too big a carbon footprint, never mind what their real feet do to the furniture.

I say it’s going too far to tell poor people that they should eat their pets! That’s right, you heard it here first. Some of the anti-pet crowd seriously wants to establish something called the Feast of St. Gertrude. That would be the day all the fattest animals in the neighborhood would be roasted and eaten. A quick glimpse at the calendar would suggest that, seeing as how St. Gertrude’s Day typically takes place during Lent, it wouldn’t make a good feast day.

Organizers tell me that the Feast of St. Gertrude would be set for the day before the Super Bowl. Could the powers of modern advertising, combined with widely-foreseen future food shortages in America, make the Feast of St. Gertrude a reality? Wait and see.

One thought on “The Feast of St. Gertrude

  1. Yikes what a stench that will make! Not to mention the little piles of bones outside of everyone’s door in the neighborhoods. Not to mention the starving coyotes who will be left with only vermin with no tasty pet flavored morsels in between.

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