We’re all quite aware of the fact that the US Corporate Media are adept at covering up bad news they don’t want us to be alarmed about – so it comes as no surprise that the Zombie Uprising that took place in the Hollywood Hills back in the summer and fall of 1972 isn’t part of our history books.
(In these pages I’ve exploded some of our domestic myths. Did you know that the Twin Towers were in West LA before they were moved to NYC? I’ve also explained how UFO’s insure that San Diego has better weather than you have.)
The unhappy truth is that hordes of wretched undead were grazing for brains in Hollywood during its so-called “Silver Age.” This lead to a predictable panic, especially considering that the relatively small size of brains in Hollywood gave rise to justifiable fears that a greater-than-ordinary body count might result when zombies couldn’t get their fill from one or two fresh brains.
Accordingly, some of the more athletic and idealistic young men in Hollywood were chosen for training in the deadly arts. This is one of the few actual photos of hand-to-hand combat between a representative of the living and one of the minions of Satan. Although I daresay that my comrades and I sent our share of zombies back to Hell, the truth is that they weren’t vanquished by us. It turns out that zombies are fatally allergic to cocaine. By the time they made it west of the Beachwood Canyon and reached Laurel Canyon, it was pretty much all over.
More important Zombie History is available for those of you who are interested in the field.