I Dined for Your Sins

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To paraphrase a disgraced ex-leader, “…I am not a food fanatic.” At the same time, as this picture illustrates, the right meal at the right time makes me very happy. Having just returned from an interstellar galactic cruise of several days without proper food shortly before this photograph was taken, it’s fair to write that this was the right meal at the right time.

This looks like a gigantic pancake, doesn’t it? In fact, it’s silver dollar sized! This Big Bear establishment actually is a front for a Cal Tech lab. It’s a deceptively small place, but they manage to squeeze dozens of people into the joint by rearranging their atoms in a more compact form. In other words, they make the customers smaller!

Scientists contend that the best way to solve the overpopulation and global hunger problems is to shrink everybody to roughly 20% of their original size. That way everybody would require far less food. So far the technology only works on a very small scale, but you’ve got to dream big – or in this case, dream small!

This Big Bear science lab/restaurant also doubles as an ultra-modern, new-age house of worship. For an extra 75 cents, each pancake can be transubstantiated into a special communion food product that will absolve the eater of sins. The bigger the serving, the greater the degree of absolution.

Let he who is without sin please pass the butter!

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