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Time Travel is Real

Is there visual evidence of a woman speaking on a cell phone back in 1928? This is a question that has caused some controversy in recent months, and it’s about time somebody looked into it, with sober determination to get at the truth. I’m pleased to report that my investigation advances the effort to resolve this matter once and for all. Not only am I going to offer a second example of a time traveler caught on film, I’m going to identify both of them and explain what they are doing.

Regular readers have come to expect some serious journalism from me once in a while. This is where a waiting world learned of the 1972 zombie invasion of Hollywood. Here the public finally received confirmation that the twin towers were moved to New York from West LA, where they were originally built. I also published compelling evidence that UFO’s are responsible for San Diego having the nation’s best weather. You don’t have to thank me; I consider it part of my duty as a citizen.

Here is a single frame from the famous video from the 1928 opening of Charlie Chaplin’s 1928 movie “The Circus.” Folks have been debating whether or not this woman is speaking into a cell phone. Obviously this is ridiculous, since there were no cell towers in Hollywood in 1928. The truth? She’s speaking into a satellite telephone! We all know that UFO’s have been a fact of life for centuries. Satellite telephone technology has been in use among select human beings since at least the time of Ancient Egypt.

I am prepared to suggest an answer to what is really going on here.  To begin with, let’s get one thing straight: this is not an isolated incident. For the first time anywhere, let me be the one to connect some very important dots for all of you. Our second example of time travel caught on film comes to us from Canada, in1940.  This isn’t some video off of YouTube, either – it’s a photograph from the Bralorne Pioneer Museum in British Columbia, Canada.

OK, now take a look at the above image.  Can you identify the time traveler? It’s worth noting that this photograph had been available for years as part of an exhibit “Their Past Lives Here” before anybody noticed the conspicuous guy from the future.

Who are these people? Why have they chosen to go back in time? It’s quite simple, really. A couple of intrepid, determined radio artists are doing everything they can to bring their listeners pristine examples of ancient recorded music! They go back in time to collect old discs and cylinders to bring back to the present for the entertainment of their listening audience. Let’s take a closer look at each image:

A careful look at the 1928 image strongly suggests that our first time traveler is not a woman at all! Scroll back up and take a look at the full image. Look at how big “her” feet are! It seems pretty obvious to me that, for whatever reason, Andy Senior felt the need to dress as a woman while talking on his satellite phone in Hollywood, back in 1928. He must have had his reasons. Maybe he felt the need to try to avoid being too conspicuous, which is more than we can say for the second time traveler, isn’t it?

Radiola is a weekly, two-hour podcast that features jazz and pop music from the 20’s and 30’s. Most, but not all of the music featured on this tremendous program comes from the “electrical era.” The sound quality of the recordings Andy presents is spectacular. It’s pretty obvious that he’s playing pristine copies of records he bought in Hollywood during trips back to the 1920’s and 1930’s, isn’t it? Incidentally, the Radiola shows offer subtle evidence that frequent time travel might be harmful to one’s health. That might explain how “Wake Up, Chill’un,” by Willard Robison and the Ipana Troubadours, was chosen as the show’s theme song.

The Antique Phonograph Music Program, on WFMU, is presented by Michael Cumella. In the color photo, Mac is explaining the fine points of acoustic recording without electricity to Nipper (the RCA Victor dog).

Mac clearly isn’t afraid of publicity, as proven by the nice article about his show from the Wall Street Journal.

The Antique Phonograph Music Program specializes in acoustic-era records and cylinders, played on original equipment. This is another brilliant program, where music from 100 years ago comes to life as if it had been recorded a few weeks ago – because, in fact, that’s how old some of the recordings really are!

It’s evident that Mac was caught on camera when he was visiting Canada to join the crowd at the famous cylinder record liquidation sale that was held in British Columbia in 1940. Once again, it’s not hard for a trained listener with a good ear to be able to tell that, although the recordings played on the Antique Phonograph Music Program are authentic, neither the cylinders, the discs, nor the record and cylinder players Mac uses are very old at all. On occasion Mac brings his son on to co-host the show. Rumor has it that, technically, Mac is younger than his son, the consequence of a birth control accident in a time machine. If true, this would be only the second documented case. (The first was Zaphod Beebrebrox.)

As one who appreciates the lively timelessness of good old recordings, here is one of my favorite spoken word pieces by Eddie Cantor, recorded at the very end of 1929.


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