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The Apes Took Over

Scott and Eileen guarding Paula

It is about time America confronted its own sordid history. The textbooks we use in schools today leave out most of the really interesting and important stuff. I guess our masters don’t think we’re capable of handling the truth, or maybe they figure it is easier for them to manage a confused and ignorant herd.

For example, the era popular culture thinks of as “the 60s” actually dates from late 1963, when President Kennedy was assassinated, through August of 1974, when President Nixon resigned. Establishment history explains that a lone nut named Oswald murdered the President in Dallas. It goes on to explain that Richard Nixon resigned from office in disgrace as a result of the Watergate scandal.

Counterculture history tells us that Kennedy was murdered by the military-industrial complex that President Eisenhower warned us about, and it acknowledges that there was a lot more to Watergate than is evident at the surface. You know, Malcolm X explained that the U.S. media had a habit of getting the American People to debate among themselves about which of two big lies actually is true. The man had a very important point, but even Malcolm failed to grasp the gravity of the situation our society found itself in 50 years ago.

The grim truth is that world society has been subverted from within by a massive Ape conspiracy! Where do they come from? That’s a good question, but educated opinion suggests they come from the future, from a time when apes have mastered humanity and seized time-travel technology for their own sinister purposes. Apparently the Apes began intervening in human events shortly after the end of the First World War. Benito Mussolini was one of the first major world leaders to fall under their control. The Apes supported both sides during the Second World War, knowing that they would have an easier time taking over if humanity stayed busy wiping itself out for a few years.

After World War Two, the Apes were responsible for the Cold War as they further consolidated their conrol over Earth. Americans were shocked by President Eisenhower’s warning about the military-industrial complex, but even Ike was afraid to level with the American People and tell them the honest truth about the nature of the threat faced by our society.

Today there is a lot of talk about zombies in our popular culture. Once again we are collectively afraid to face the truth: zombies are not un-dead, they are humans who have suffered grave and ultimately fatal genetic damage as a result of Ape intervention. It’s just part of the same old “divide and conquer” strategy that has served them so well for decades.

Many people have suspected these truths for years, but things are getting so bad these days that maybe our society is ready to wake up and confront reality. I’ve hinted about it before. For example, several years ago I reported about the zombie uprising in Hollywood back in 1972. Today I am going to explain more of this important hidden history.

It’s true that I, along with a number of other athletic young adolescents, were sent to fight the zombies that were feasting on the small brains found in the Hollywood Hills. What I didn’t explain was that the zombies were sent to attack Hollywood in the fall of 1972 because a key Ape political figure had been taken hostage just a couple of months earlier. That’s what the picture that goes along with this story is all about.

I led a secret team that included Eileen Becker, also pictured. We captured this Ape, named Paula Crist, at the 1972 World Science Fiction Convention in Anaheim, California. This picture shows us taking the Ape into custody.

Obviously the Apes did not take this development lying down. They figured that a small group of kids and dissident adults from Hollywood should not be allowed to interfere with their larger plans for our society. What they did not know at the time was that elements high in the Nixon administration were adamantly opposed to the continuing Ape influence, despite the massive covert support given to the Nixon campaign by the Ape underground.

Paula was released from the cave she was held captive in the day President Nixon was re-elected, as a sign of good faith. Nixon intended to finish President Kennedy’s efforts to secure peace and disarmament during his second term, but the Apes had other plans. Since Nixon had served them so well, they disgraced him rather than ordering him assassinated.

A lot of things make more sense now, don’t they? You wonder why America has abandoned any trace of egalitarian values, why she seems to be embracing fascism more every day?

Blame it on the chimps!


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